Navigating Fatigue, Burnout and PTSD - My Story

Finding Your Way Through Carer Fatigue, Burnout and Stress

How I Was Guided to Create the Carer Fatigue and Burnout Course

"My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humour, and some style." Maya Angelou

My work and my political activism have always given me an outlet for the pain that I feel for people experiencing injustice, discrimination, and any forms of harm or suffering. But as I looked back over my life, I noticed I had become less active and more silent, feeling overwhelmed by the degree of suffering that seemed to be all around me and increasingly powerless to have any impact.

Choosing to live and work in a small, rural, conservative community, I worried about the impact of my views on my children, my business and my professional reputation and I had become increasingly socially isolated.

I was always fully booked out in my clinical practice and the community health clinics I worked for; I had a three-month waitlist for clients wanting appointments, stressed doctors pleading with me to see their most vulnerable patients and I had great difficulty saying NO.

So, my clever, adaptive brain decided: I know, since I can’t physically see all the clients that need help, I’ll write a self-help book that my clients on the waitlist could use until an appointment became available. Brilliant!

So, off my over-functioning brain went again, completely ignoring my own body’s stress responses, researching, writing, still seeing clients. I even did two rotations to offshore detention centres in Papua New Guinea and Christmas Island (horrific) and returned with a manuscript and severe Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Moral Injury.

Over the next couple of years, I attempted to transition out of clinical work into more preventative, educational work, which I believed would be less triggering and more positive for me. But in my usual style, I went at it 250 per cent, travelling around two states of Australia and one venue in New Zealand delivering author talks and writing and delivering training around mental health in the workplace. I was mentally and physically exhausted but still driven – like a Mother Teresa (my actual legal name) to save the world – whatever the cost – not that I really ever contemplated the cost.

I finally left my private clinical practice at the end of 2018 – at the same time that my beloved father passed away - and in the new year joined the amazing Royal Flying Doctor Service whilst continuing to serve out six months of a contract to provide service to a local indigenous health service. The RFDS proved to be a great organisation with fantastic management, ethics and supportive policies – but in spite of their best efforts, my overworking continued and within a short timeframe I was travelling to four different clinics around the state, carrying a higher caseload than other clinicians – despite efforts from my

manager to restrict me. Along came Covid and demand for service continued to escalate. I was having two to three migraines with aura each week during this period but pushed on.

In October 2020 I was exposed to two significant personal traumas which occurred a day apart from each other. Both were completely unexpected and shattering. Without taking any time to process my own trauma, I cared for everyone else involved and returned to work two weeks later. The regular migraines continued and just before heading off on leave at Christmas time, I collapsed at work (fortunately a hospital). The doctor could not find anything unusual. I put it down to stress.

Then……

……on Boxing Day 2020, I suffered an ischemic left cerebellum stroke! I woke up with severe vertigo and no movement in my legs and was rushed to hospital.

My body had had enough of being ignored. And I finally got the message. I had to change. Although I recovered quickly with no deficits, in early February 2021 I felt I had no choice but to resign my position from my dream job at The Royal Flying Doctor Service. It broke my heart. I completely lost my identity. I had lost my relationship of 11 years, my health, my job, my financial security. I knew my old strategy of bouncing back from adversity by getting busy with the next project just wasn’t going to work this time and I felt totally lost.

Who WAS I? How had I come to this point? What was my future?

After four years in the wilderness, much reflection and research, I have written this program about what I learned and I truly hope that by sharing my experience and knowledge, I can

help you to avoid a similar descent.